After a year and a half, I finally went back to my hometown for 2 weeks. My grandmother's 90th birthday happened to be during this week, so a group of relatives came over, mainly my uncle, aunt, and her sisters who work in Shenzhen.
To get straight to the point, I’ve always disliked talking to them since I was young. While my mom would sometimes chime in during their conversations, I would usually stay silent and keep my focus on the TV, only responding when the topic was directed at me. One reason for this is that my mom and grandmother often warned me to be cautious with my words while talking to them, as my uncle, aunt, and their relatives are highly superstitious. Saying anything they deemed "unlucky" would upset them.
Thinking about it, this reason alone didn’t fully explain my reluctance to engage with them. But after this recent visit, I finally understood.
The thing I hate the most during these family gatherings is the endless comparison of their children—where their kids are studying, what jobs they have, etc. They claim to be "caring about the younger generation," but anyone who talks to them for more than a few minutes would realize this is a shallow excuse.
For example, during dinner, the conversation turned to my cousin who had just landed a government job. The relatives eagerly started planning her career for her—moving back home, marrying a nice guy, and so on.
I said, "Wait, shouldn’t these decisions ultimately depend on my cousin’s own wishes? How do you know what she wants or plans?" Aunt B replied, "It’s okay, she’s obedient."
This statement just made me feel sick. Later, when they praised me for being "obedient," I cut them off, "I hate it when you say I’m ‘obedient.’" Aunt B retorted, "Fine, we won’t say you’re ‘obedient.’ We’ll say you’re ‘bad,’ happy now?"
I couldn’t be bothered to continue the conversation. That’s when I realized why I despised talking to them—because it was a pointless effort when they neither respected me nor had any intention of truly engaging. The worst part was, they were completely oblivious to it.

At this point, if you’re not familiar with the meaning of "obedient" (听话) in the Chinese or East Asian cultural context, you might be confused. I'll try to elaborate. In this context, "obedient" usually refers to children being submissive and compliant to parents, teachers, or elders, showing no resistance or defiance. It implies that the child acts according to the expectations set by adults, follows the rules, and does not challenge authority. In simple terms, "obedient" represents an image of being well-behaved and sensible, embodying the traditional virtues of respecting and adhering to authority.
However, that’s not the main issue. The real problem lies in the fact that, at least before the Industrial Revolution, China’s society was largely unchanged for thousands of years, making "obedience" an effective survival strategy in a feudal, agrarian context.
But what does that have to do with us today? The issue is, I realized my relatives are deeply rooted in these beliefs:

• A: They are older and have rich life experience.
• B: They are successful (regardless of their own definitions, they’re wealthy, and in their eyes, wealth is the sole measure of success). They believe their success is due more to A than to luck (A => B).
• C: The younger generation will be successful if they follow their guidance.
  
  It’s pretty damn obvious that their logic is totally bullshit. Even without pointing out these logical fallacies, expecting the younger generation to follow their outdated perspectives is foolish and irresponsible. I strongly believe in the balance of rights and responsibilities. These elders want to make life decisions on behalf of the younger ones without being willing or able to bear the consequences. Considering their understanding and experiences are likely out of touch with current realities, letting them dictate the lives of the younger generation is absurd. In other words, blindly being "obedient" is a sign of irresponsibility towards one’s own life.
  We live in an ever-changing world, and with billions of people on this planet, encountering different viewpoints is normal. What disgusts me most about my relatives is that when they hear opinions different from theirs or when I disagree with them, they have no interest or patience to listen to my reasoning. They can’t even sit through a five-minute explanation without interrupting, showing complete disrespect for me.
  
  In conclusion, their behavior serves as a reminder for me of what not to become.